(RANT) Youth Group: Learing about God

Today was a good day, but an even better late-afternoon/evening. Kaitlyn invited me to go to her Youth Group with her. I have only gone once before, and I can't even remember laughing so hard any time before that. It had been so much fun! So, obviously, I jumped at the chance to go again.

We walked down to the church after school -- or, we would have, but Scott, the youth leader, drove by and picked us up in his van. Along with, like, ten other people. He's so nice and caring and really funny! The other people in the van were Anna and Gwen (sisters), Karen (whom I love!), Kurtis and Kaitlyn (brother and sis) and I. Plus, we were supposed to pick up Ben and Ashely, but as a joke Scott drove right by them. :) Really funny, Ben gave us the finger!

We got there, and then more people started showing up: these two younger girls, Gwen's friend, two more girls, and another guy...anyway, we were about 16 or 17 in total at the end.

So first we watched a video about making difficult choices in life, and how you have to try your best at everything. Then we discussed it and how we felt about it, until it was time for supper -- KD and hot dogs! Yum!

Then Kaitlyn and Gwen took me on a tour of the Church, since I had really never been in one before.

Now, I'm not Christan, nor am I against God. I was just never brought up to believe in him. But now...I dunno. It's kinda like, all my friends that I have now believe in God, and none of my old friends did. And I just don't know...

Then, we played games in the gym, and finally we went back to the Youth Group room and listened, danced, (and in Kaitlyn and Anna's case -- made u a routine) to a song called "Dancing Generation". Or something like that. It was really good.

Then, Scott told us new people a little about what goes on a Youth Group, and one thing in particular is that they always make a list of things to pray for. Then, as a group, they pray for those things. And I've never really prayed for anything, not in the literal sense, where you really DO pray to the Lord. So I really didn't know what to do as everyone kept saying different things that they wanted to prey for. And as I listened, and herd what everyone was saying, I started to think. Think about how I didn't know if I believed in God or not, didn't know where I was going in life, didn't know if I was right about anything. And you know what? suddenly, it all came down on me. I just started to cry. Like, everyone else was just putting their heads down, thinking, and tears were streaming down my face. Finally, Kaitlyn noticed and she said, "Sammy, are you crying?", kind of joking. I just gulped, because this made me cry harder, and she said again, seriously; "Sammy, are you crying?" so everyone started looking at me, like "why is she crying? It must be something bad."

Okay, this is going to sound so shallow, but I didn't want to tell a room full of Christians I was crying because I wasn't sure that I believed in God. So, I thought about what I could say. Thinking about my cat, Gypsy, who was killed by a passing car about two weekend ago, I started to cry even harder, but I thought again that that would be too lame.

I know, stupid.

So finally, I remembered that my Grammy had cancer, but was pretty much over it. But that made me cry even more, so I raised my hand and told them that, still tying to stop crying. Victoria, whom I forgot to mention above, came over and hugged me. *sad smile.* Thanks, Tory.

Anyway, then we prayed for everything, (actually, Scott let Kaitlyn read the prayed we had come up with) and then Scott read us a story from the bible. It was about how everyone should have a vision, a dream, a goal. And how God also has a vision for us. and how, if our visions aren't the same, then we should choose the vision that the Lord has chosen for us.

And as he was reading, reciting this, I was thinking. "What do you want for me, God?" Looking at the large maroon BIBLE printed across the book in front of me. "What path should I choose?"

and then it suddenly became clear.

Everything had paved the way fro me: making friends with Chelsea, how I met Nish and Kaitlyn from it, how I lost Chelsea (who doesn't believe in God), how I was invited to Youth Group, how we had THAT particular discussion, out of ANY we could have had, on THAT night that I decided to come. I knew, (I think, I know, anyway) I knew then that it was God's will for me to believe in him. To let him guide me through life, helping me.

It's such a wonderful feeling, knowing what path to take in life. Very peaceful.

Well, that's my rant Jeeperz, sorry it's so long. I guess I got alittle carried away! :) Gotta go, Bones is on!

Oops! It already started!!

-Samm

(RANT) Robbie the Vampire

So today I was walking down the hallway at school with Kaitlyn, on our way to her locker at first break, when suddenly I see a flash of red hair above the crowd ahead of us. Obviously, the first thing I think of is "Oh, crap! It's Matt-ew! RUN!" But before I can spin on my heel and make a break for it, I see a face and realize that it isn't Matt-ew. It just might be even worse. Robbie is strutting down the hallway just like he owns the place.

I don't thin he know's that he does this -- maybe it's just another unnatural thing about him. Anyway, back to the story.

So, there he is, walking striate towards us. I lean over to Kaitlyn and whisper, "Oh, crap, it's Robbie!"

Kaitlyn: "What?" Of course she didn't hear me, listening to something Clara was rambling on about (it might have had to do with her next class, little red candies that taste like fire, and a box of tissues), but there was no time to repeat myself, he was too close and would hear me.

Oh, wait. Back up. I should probably explain a few things first. Matt-ew can wait, but this is how I know Robbie:

So I do this acting thing as like an extracurricular thing, whatever. It's called TNB. Anyway. So, Robbie's in this too, see? And last year, (my fourth year or TNB) I finally got a lead in the play! ♥ I was so excited, until I found out who would be playing the other lead -- the one that I had to marry. Oh, you already know it was Robbie who got that character, don't you? It's not very difficult to catch on to this, is it?

So, sadly, I was forced into EXTRA rehearsals with him. On the week-ends. Yea. So anyway, we were really super awkward during all of the practices, especially in the scene where I had to run to him, wrap my arms around him and cry into his arms telling him how much I loved him. It's kind of a hard thing to do when you loathe the person whom you're supposed to be married to, even for an actress.

Long story short, the show was still amazing (how could it not be when I'm the star?), and I was getting along....okay....with Robbie. But then the show ended, and summer started, blah blah blah...

So I haven't really seen him since, and he's still on the top of my "hope to never see again" list.

Back to the story in the present!

...too late to repeat myself, he was too close and would hear me.

So he's like, I dunno, maybe two meters away, and he glances over to Kaitlyn and says "Hey, Kaitlyn..." then he sees me and turns just the faintest bit red and says "H-hey Sammy..." then looks away quickly and walks just a tiny bit faster than usual, past us and out of sight. Just like that.

So...what's up? He's talking to me? He's not? I don't get it. In grade 8, every girl was like in love with him, but I was never one of those girls. He's just too...strange. And not like "cool" strange, but just...annoying strange. Like, I know people who are completely out of their minds crazy, but are totally the most amazing, fun, kind, caring, halarious people I've ever met *coughJadecough* but Robbie's just weird. I don't know how to explain it, really. It's just...I dunno. Read Jades' blog for more info on him. :) (link to her blog in the sidebar thing)

Anyway, I just thought it was strange. I really don't understand boys...

I'm really hoping someone will just maybe fall in love with me sometime throughout high school, but I'm not so sure that it's going to happen...ah! Not to change the subject at all, but I just remembered that I have a TON of homework to do tonight!

So, I take my leave now, bid you farewell, until next time, I say goodnight...

Love,

Samm

Ode to Autumn

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.

~George Eliot

Ah, fall! My favourite season! The leaves are changing colour and tumbling to the ground, the bugs all die, and we get to pull out our favourite stylish sweaters and gloves! This year's "in" colour is gray! But not a dark gray, just a light, smoky gray, so I'm already set with my BlueNotes autumn coat that I bought last year. :) Yippy for saving money!

One thing that I really love about this season is the weather. In the summer, it can get wayyy too hot; in the winter you have to sleep in socks, and in the spring it rains 24/7. But in the fall, (oh, yes! the fall!) it's never too hot, or too cold, and it almost never rains.

I hate the rain. Some people enjoy it, especially since it seems to be the best weather for sexy vampires. But for me, it makes me fell depressed. When I wake up in the morning and it's raining, it feels sorta like the water from the clouds is seeping into my skin, through my veins and weighing my limbs down like an rocks. It really is a horrible feeling.

Okay, well, I suppose I'll leave you with that aweful thought, because that's just how I am. :P

Before I go, I'd just like to give thanks to Jade, who inspired me to start this blog while I was reading hers. She's and amazing writer, with amazing ideas and thoughts. (Plus, she's really funny!) Check out her blog here. It's really cool!

-Samm (Yes, there actually are 2 "m"s.)