(RANT) Youth Group: Learing about God

Today was a good day, but an even better late-afternoon/evening. Kaitlyn invited me to go to her Youth Group with her. I have only gone once before, and I can't even remember laughing so hard any time before that. It had been so much fun! So, obviously, I jumped at the chance to go again.

We walked down to the church after school -- or, we would have, but Scott, the youth leader, drove by and picked us up in his van. Along with, like, ten other people. He's so nice and caring and really funny! The other people in the van were Anna and Gwen (sisters), Karen (whom I love!), Kurtis and Kaitlyn (brother and sis) and I. Plus, we were supposed to pick up Ben and Ashely, but as a joke Scott drove right by them. :) Really funny, Ben gave us the finger!

We got there, and then more people started showing up: these two younger girls, Gwen's friend, two more girls, and another guy...anyway, we were about 16 or 17 in total at the end.

So first we watched a video about making difficult choices in life, and how you have to try your best at everything. Then we discussed it and how we felt about it, until it was time for supper -- KD and hot dogs! Yum!

Then Kaitlyn and Gwen took me on a tour of the Church, since I had really never been in one before.

Now, I'm not Christan, nor am I against God. I was just never brought up to believe in him. But now...I dunno. It's kinda like, all my friends that I have now believe in God, and none of my old friends did. And I just don't know...

Then, we played games in the gym, and finally we went back to the Youth Group room and listened, danced, (and in Kaitlyn and Anna's case -- made u a routine) to a song called "Dancing Generation". Or something like that. It was really good.

Then, Scott told us new people a little about what goes on a Youth Group, and one thing in particular is that they always make a list of things to pray for. Then, as a group, they pray for those things. And I've never really prayed for anything, not in the literal sense, where you really DO pray to the Lord. So I really didn't know what to do as everyone kept saying different things that they wanted to prey for. And as I listened, and herd what everyone was saying, I started to think. Think about how I didn't know if I believed in God or not, didn't know where I was going in life, didn't know if I was right about anything. And you know what? suddenly, it all came down on me. I just started to cry. Like, everyone else was just putting their heads down, thinking, and tears were streaming down my face. Finally, Kaitlyn noticed and she said, "Sammy, are you crying?", kind of joking. I just gulped, because this made me cry harder, and she said again, seriously; "Sammy, are you crying?" so everyone started looking at me, like "why is she crying? It must be something bad."

Okay, this is going to sound so shallow, but I didn't want to tell a room full of Christians I was crying because I wasn't sure that I believed in God. So, I thought about what I could say. Thinking about my cat, Gypsy, who was killed by a passing car about two weekend ago, I started to cry even harder, but I thought again that that would be too lame.

I know, stupid.

So finally, I remembered that my Grammy had cancer, but was pretty much over it. But that made me cry even more, so I raised my hand and told them that, still tying to stop crying. Victoria, whom I forgot to mention above, came over and hugged me. *sad smile.* Thanks, Tory.

Anyway, then we prayed for everything, (actually, Scott let Kaitlyn read the prayed we had come up with) and then Scott read us a story from the bible. It was about how everyone should have a vision, a dream, a goal. And how God also has a vision for us. and how, if our visions aren't the same, then we should choose the vision that the Lord has chosen for us.

And as he was reading, reciting this, I was thinking. "What do you want for me, God?" Looking at the large maroon BIBLE printed across the book in front of me. "What path should I choose?"

and then it suddenly became clear.

Everything had paved the way fro me: making friends with Chelsea, how I met Nish and Kaitlyn from it, how I lost Chelsea (who doesn't believe in God), how I was invited to Youth Group, how we had THAT particular discussion, out of ANY we could have had, on THAT night that I decided to come. I knew, (I think, I know, anyway) I knew then that it was God's will for me to believe in him. To let him guide me through life, helping me.

It's such a wonderful feeling, knowing what path to take in life. Very peaceful.

Well, that's my rant Jeeperz, sorry it's so long. I guess I got alittle carried away! :) Gotta go, Bones is on!

Oops! It already started!!

-Samm